Tuesday, November 20, 2007

WAMMA Lama Ding Dong

For information about WAMMA. Check out the MMA Analyst article.

For those who need a summery: A bunch of people who have no understanding ranging from a former pro Football coach to a bumbling FBI agent to Roy Jones Jr. former management has formed the first MMA "sanctioning body". What will this sanction body do for the sport of MMA? Nothing that isn't done before by the commissions. Other then selling ad space on the weight belts they will be carrying, they're are basically another money mark organization trying to hide itself under the words "sanctioning body"

Matter of fact, I have more respect for the JMM in Japan then I have for WAMMA here. The reasons why are obvious to the naked eye. First of all, Japan need some sort of structure for MMA, ok. A sanctioning body like the JMM can bring that structure and possibly get Japanese MMA out of the funk it's in now. Second of all, if you look at who will be running WAMMA and who's running the JMM, the JMM has WAMMA beaten in the legitimacy area ten fold. JMM has more people who've actually have experience in combat sports then JAMMA has. Shoot, the JMM has a better disgraced public official in a ranking spot then WAMMA does.

I think the biggest joke in this comedy of errors is the ad belts. I'm pretty much willing to bet that was last minute and half assed by them. To show how foolish this concept is, I'll present two scenarios.

1. Coca-Cola finally chips in and funds the WAMMA Heavyweight Championship. To celebrate this, WAMMA has one of it's affiliated leagues throw a huge bash a day before UFC's Arnold card with the headline fight being (off the top of my head) Brad Imes vs. Jeff Monson for the title. Jeff wins. Before the weekend's out, Jeff throws the title in the trash and joins M-1. The reason the Heavyweight title's in the trash? It's owned by Coca-Cola.

2.Let's use the same scenario but replace Coca-Cola with, say Domino's Pizza and make the title the welterweight title. Let's say that...Diego Sanchez and JZ Cavalcanti fight for the title. Diego wins the title. Say a week later, Domino's pulls sponsorship because Diego does yoga which is against the religious convictions of their CEO. What does WAMMA do now? Not only do they lose a big sponsor, their welterweight belt have no purpose.

In the end, I think MMA is doing great with what we got going so far working with state athletic commissions. There is no need to pay extra money to a non existent organizations just to work in states and organizations that are already assessable and to waste the same amount of money to get proper sponsors when all it takes is a little explanation and a bit more elbow grease.

Friday, October 26, 2007

The New Pro-Wrestling

Yesterday, Randy Couture and Dana White had dueling pressers. Randy had his press conference covered by HDNet and ProElite.com while Dana had his phone conference held on Yahoo. While I heard about how it wasn't about the money for Randy, it was about respect and then spout off figures or read about how Dana was drooling over Brock Lesnar's "tremendous wrestling ability" from second hand sources, I had this question wiggling around the back of my head.

Where's the coverage from ESPN? ESPN 2? The Ocho?

Was there any coverage from anywhere but niche media on these two events?

There's nothing. Not even anything on ESPN's MMA section. Then again, it's run by Sherdog and we all know how Dana like to play Jerry Millen with that connection.

The only big source that did actual coverage was Yahoo and right now they're not looking too good. If you take Dave Meltzer out of the section, it pretty much resembles an Apter Mag circa 1993. Kevin Iole is UFC's own Vince Russo...or Mean Gene Okerland. Depending on how you take your "insider information". Wait...I take that back. yeah, Kevin Iole is Bill Apter. No way is he on the UFC payroll....yet.

So what does this mean?

Welcome to the new pro-wrestling.

Now before anyone jumps on me, I'm not saying that MMA is fake and/or predetermined. What I am saying is that the Sports jurnos are giving MMA the same "Who gives a fuck" attitude that they give pro wrestlers.

"But we got coverage on ESPN"

News. ESPN News. And on the day before a fight. And then maybe fifteen seconds on the Sporstcenter loop at night.

You can state till your face turns blue that MMA has coverage on TV, it's still being held back by the Kornhiesers and Mariatis of the network. Why? Because to them, stick and ball sports have more integrity. To them, Randy Couture vs. Dana White is just another Vince vs. Steve Austin.

So they laugh that horrid laugh and act like they're cool, but the end of the day they rather smoke crack then watch MMA. "Who wants to watch a bunch of lunkheads in a cage" they think.

You want it changed, send letters and more letters. Get major coverage and demand it from real jurnos and not office temps they send when they don't want to do it.

Stick and ball media are spoiled brats. Order them to do better.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Dana's a shameless loser.

Soooo let me get this straight. Dana White closed down PRIDE because "the Japanese won't work with them" even though the only work we've seen Dana do was fly one of his lawyer friends to and from Japan. It's DSE's fault that the lease was a mess. You couldn't get Fedor so it's the fault of the "nutty Russians" and now when Randy quits because the funding you're giving him isn't proper, he's a "bitch in a beauty salon" who has a "scumbag" Hollywood agent who he seemed to "bitch slap" last month.

Hey. Dana. I know you don't take to advise nicely, so just to piss you off I'm going to give you some anyway. Calm the fuck down and take some of the blame.

Yes, the Japanese are hard to work with, but you didn't try. Now you've got a big ass hole in Japan that you made in the scene over there. You've forgotten a huge amount of talent which you probably don't care for anyways and you've pretty much shown Japan how immature and gaijin you are. Now, with this rambling fanboy rant your on, not only are you in danger of losing the intrest of a high quality fighter, you're also tiptoeing on the edge of losing your head referee and ring announcer since that said "scumbag" agent also own both their hides as well.

Have you at least for once, think about saying "well, could it be me making shit decisions." Have you looked back once and possibly...y'know try to change up your negotiation skills some? Maybe even thing about what you did wrong and try to improve upon it? You'd think that would make for better relations and possibly, better brand security. But Nah. You're Dana White! Mr. UFC. Mr. Do You Want To Be A Fucking Fighter. Everyone should be kissing your fucking ring. You're the big man right!?

You know how people make the analogy that you're the new Vince MacMahon and like a fucking dick, you take it as a compliment. It's not a compliment. Keep in mind, it was pro wrestling fans who were disillusioned by that prick that made The Ultimate Fighter big in the first place. And it's the pro wrestling community that is making the slow exodus into MMA. With these dick moves you're making right now, they can have reason to destroy you just by turning you off. Now you can say that you don't act like pro-wrestling and you might also bring out that tired excuse that "you're like NASCAR.". NASCAR is just a better sponsored pro-wrestling with vehicles. Keep going the route your going. Slamming fighters and other people will not only keep quality fighters away, it'll chase the fanbase away as well.

And tell Kevin Iole he needs to do a better job covering up the spin lines you gave him. I saw that shit a mile away. Tell him he needs a napkin while you're at it.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Steppin' Razor

Hey guys. Sorry for the long lull in action. It's been mostly a busy month for me and couldn't get to post as much as I wanted. So now that I have some time now, I finally am going to unload a huge load of MMA and Pro Wrestling angst right NOW!

- The big thing going around the water cooler right now is the Bisping/Hamill match and how we need to fix the ten point must system. I say thee Nay! Nay I say! It is the incompetence of judges that needs to be addressed in that fight. As well in other fights. Don't get me wrong, I too wish to see the ten point must system retooled to be more concise, but even if we let quantum physicists fix the system, Cecil Peoples and The Three Stooges will still find a way to muck it all up. We're supposed to have clean, clear cut judging in MMA. How is it that these yahoos still judging events when they have showed total signs of incompetence? Hold judges accountable somehow or risk a major title fight being held in total scrutiny from the main stream media when these knuckleheads automatically score the other way the second round in a close fight just because they didn't want to think about it.

- Speaking of Yahoos, Fightlinker was always on the bandwagon and "The Jedi" Luke Thomas is starting to show his true colors as well. Kevin Iole...you fucking suck. You don't know moves and technique. You know fuck all about strategy. You make shit up and then when there is polite debate and decent, you go and call those who wasted time and effort "keyboard warriors" and then just after you that you turn into a keyboard warrior and called a fighter nothing short of a criminal even though the one you should be blaming is the ref who let the fight go too long in the first place.

And then...this is good...and then you have the audacity to call yourself a "MMA expert". That's like calling an asshat traveling tourist a "train conductor" because he rode a lot of trains and likes to piss on the baggage men. What makes you qualified Kevin? What? You're in good with Dana. What's that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide. How to lie. Me? I always give facts. Even if I don't know the answer.

In the end Kevin, you might be on your fourth volume of your autobio in your nice mansion as you get lauded over by the sports media as one of the biggest named reporters in combat sports and I'll still be here, working my 9 to 5 still praying to the gods Art Dore doesn't kill anyone still over a cold plate of Italian poutine. But I will have something that you will never have or understand. I will be able to look people in the eye and tell them with a straight face that I have educated and gotten more people in to the sport with a better understanding then you even will.

So say goodnight to the Bad Guy.

- Gary Shaw is the worst thing to happen to MMA. Hey Gary. Yes, Mr. Shaw. Over here! Yes thank you. You say you want more weight classes. Yeah, um.....not going to happen. Well how many does Boxing have? 17? 17 weight classes? Wow. You know what 17 weight classes tell me? That it's easy not to make a commitment to Boxing. That dedication has no place. Sure, I know they're great fighters. What's gonna stop them from gaining a couple pounds just to duck fighters though? I can be the greatest fighter in my weight class, but I wouldn't have the gold to prove it because the ding dong who really has the belt is too busy trying to conquer the weight classes around the one he actually won gold in the first place. That's why MMA doesn't have 17 weight classes.

- Pavlik will not save boxing.

- Bob Arum is delusional.

- So Mark Cuban wants to work with Vince MacMahon. Yeah umm.....are you that eager to flush your reputation down the drain Cuban? They just did a global steroid bust, do you want the consequences filtering into you business? If so, you're a bigger fool then you look dude

- Free Vancouver! Support CMMAA!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Incredibly Stupid Wrestler Who Opened His Piehole And Turned Into A Muscle Headed Penile Tatooed No Nothing Twit

So Brock is talking to MMA Weekly. He's demanding a contract with UFC. There is so much crap he spews it's unbleivable. I just want to break this stuff down just to show how god damn stupid he is.

"We're playing the games, but I'm tired of playing games,” stated Lesnar. “It's time for somebody to make a move. I'm going to go down to the UFC and see what the hell is going on down there."

Hhhhmmmm. What's going down here? Well, after your fight, the UFC signed one of the top three heavyweights in the world. Another of the top three Heavyweights in the world got taken out by somebody the MMA community thought was a complete nobody and now we're going to see his fight with the current heavyweight champ.

That's the games their playing chulo. Where do you fit in this?

Asked if he has talked to UFC President Dana White about his interest in competing in the Octagon, Lesnar answered, "We've spoken. I cannot deny or confirm anything. I'm just telling you this, I'm going to be there Saturday night and I'm looking for a win. I don't care who it is. If I had to fight somebody, I'd like to fight Randy [Couture]. I'll fight [Gabriel] Gonzaga. We'll see what happens."

He added, "I hope Randy wins that fight. I hope Randy wins that fight and then I can fight him in December."

I hope you hope for Randy too. I hope you been preping for him, saying your prayers for him, eatting wheaties for him, dreaming about him in your sleep.

Because when Gonzaga gets his arm raised and that belt goes around his waist, I want you to have a heart attack while it happens.

He's trying to pad his plate folks. He knows he ain't got nothing so he's aimming for Randy because he's popular. Even if he losses, he knows he's getting a payoff. If Gonzaga wins, he's got to work for that money

"I'm going to be attending the UFC this weekend, and I'm going to go down and watch and see in person, because I've watched these guys fight on TV. I'm going to go down there and see for myself and watch these heavyweights that I know I can beat," Lesnar told MMAWeekly.

Excuse me while I laugh my head off at your blind confidence.

"I'm looking to fight somebody with credentials. I'm not just talking Silver Medals in Judo. I want a belt. I've fought a lot of tomato cans. I've already had it. You know? I want a fillet Mignon. Let's do it, and do it right. I want to fight somebody, somebody that's got credentials because I've got them too. There isn't a wrestler, there isn't a heavyweight out there my size that has done the things I've done."

I find it funny that he looks over Olympic champs for a belt. I got a couple in my closet Brock. Just ask.

As to fighting a lot of tomato cans....when did this happen? In some alternate universe? All you fought was a Olympic judoka who hasn't taken well to MMA at all and was flown in last minute cause your original opponent, who would have killed you might I add, was barred because of a petuitary problem. Who else you fight? Bring up some documentation.

As to doing things you haven't done, let's see here....

  • Wrestling
    • Randy Couture
    • Matt Lindland
    • Dan Henderson
    • Josh Koschek
    • Mark Coleman
    • Rashad Evans
    • Kevin Randelman
    • Uriah Faber
    • Gilbert Melendez
    • Kaz Nagata
  • Pro Wrestling
    • Josh Barnett
    • Eric Paulson
    • Matt Hume
    • Kazuyuki Fujita
    • Kazushi Sakuraba
    • Shinzuke Nakamura
    • The Shamrocks

The only thing they didn't do was make themselves look like the Michelen Man and work for a Roid factory.

Fucked yourself there, didn't you?

Questioned if the UFC is where he'd like to eventually compete, Lesnar responded, "The UFC, they're the big dogs on the street, obviously. You've got Randy Couture, who he's definitely going to be past his prime here. You've got Fedor [Emelianenko]. There's nobody out there that is unbeatable. Okay? All the media builds Fedor into this great monster. Well, every monster has his day.

Because we all know the only way to get a contract is to be a rude fucking prick.

And last I checked Fedor still lost one match due to a cut. Something everyone can't control.

There isn't a guy like me walking around that can do the things that I do.

Yes there is.

These guys, they don't know.

Yes they do.

Let's put it this way, in college, or everywhere that I've gone, everybody has said that I'm one strong son-of-a-bitch, and that's what I am, and I'm able to back it up."

If you're going to rely on your strength, your fucked. I will laugh gleefully when you lose.

"Absolutely, no doubt in my mine. I mean, you take Randy Couture for example, I mean he's the heavyweight champion of the UFC, but he's a small heavyweight.

Ah yes. Randy is a small heavyweight therefore he can get stomped anytime. Way to bring that MacMahonism in there Brock.

I enjoyed watching Randy beat the sh*t out of Tim Sylvia. I enjoyed that. I mean take a look at this guy, Tim Sylvia, the guy’s feet; they're damn near webbed. He looks like the Swamp Thing. The guy is a vulture. He can't wrestle worth a crap. He's got a jab and a little right hand. There's no way. I'd double-leg his a** right through that cage so fast, and that would be the end of the fight. I'm tired. I'm tired of this. Brock Lesnar wants to fight somebody, somebody with credentials, and Tim Sylvia ain't the guy."

And again with being a rude fucking prick.

Brock Lesnar is nobody. He's trying to squeeze Dana for a contract and is using TNA, a second rate that prides itself on hiring wastes of time, occupational hazards and criminals rather then recognizing all the talent they could be promoting to actually advance the business.

Either way, I hope something bad happens to Brock. He's a blowhard musclehead who thinks he's important.

He isn't.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Dear Pro Wrestling,

Please Take Notes.

It's official...The CSAC Is Run By Bizarro.

I mean it.

Don't believe me?

You can be kind and gentle with words, give your side and reasons about why you took said steroids and pretty much prostrate yourself in front of the commission to be lenient and reduce your suspension. Your suspension will still be upheld.

Or...you can verbally bully the commission, swear like a fucking sailor and pretty much deny the fact that a steroid most built for horses was in your system...and get six months off.

What's really funny is that the best way to get your suspension reduced is having a 78 fight record. That's it! Ain't that so cool!! If you have 78 fights under your record, you can get away with fuckin murder!

Hermes has 24 fights. Sorry Dude! Gotta to uphold the law. You can do whatever the fuck you want when you have 54 more fights under your belt. It'll also help if your a repeat offender and verbally abusive as well.

I mean really. Telling and excepting the truth is only for Thug and Cowards. It's best to be a denying insightful son of a bitch with no honor with fanboy nuthuggers sucking at your sac at a moments notice. You can get away with everything then.
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